What the fuck was I thinking? I am not capable of raising a child. Especially one with so many problems. With a family history like mine, this child has no chance at a normal life. My dad and BJ were both mentally delayed. My dad and my mom, as well as many of my uncles, have heart problems. I was in and out of foster homes. What the hell do I know of providing a stable life for Corey. He already has a tough time breathing and now he has been diagnosed with heart problems. Maybe my mom was right and I am being unfair to this baby. Maybe I should have given him up for adoption. I love him so much though. As all of this is going through my mind, I sit here holding him and cry. All I know for sure at the moment is that I can't continue on with him and the dog.
Comments (1)
Mary, you have got to be strong. This baby is a blessing in your life no matter what. What makes you think he will have a better chance with foster parents? You gave born to him and you know better than anybody how to take care of him. Love is all you need. Follow your instincts and you two will be fine. You're a hard worker and you deserve a great life with your baby. Do not deny him of that just because you don't feel good or strong enough. Believe in yourself and fight for this baby. He might have heart problems or breathing problems or health problems, but he's still your baby and he still needs you. If you keep on thinking that your past is going ot be his future then that's what you'll give him, but if you believe you can create a better future for him, then that's what you'll do.
I know you're young and sacred and that life doesn't seem to be smiling on you these days, but you have him and I believe that is above everything and everyone. Raising a child is not easy, but I believe you can do it and not only that, but I am sure you can do a great job because YOU LOVE HIM. That should give you the motivation and strength you need to move on and fight for giving him a good life.
Try and be a little patient. If the dog is being a burden then sacrifice on him, not your son. Find people who support you and not people who judge you.
All my blessings from Spain. Take lots of care and keep me updated.
I love you, and you are beautiful.